30 December 2011

USA.gov, Gov't Made Easy

This year, if you are somehow short on New Year's Resolution, not to fret, the government has your back. That is right, they even came up with a short list for NY resolution..damns got to love 'em ;) But seriously, this is hilariously wonderful, "find resources to help you achieve your goals".

New Year's Resolutions?


Smoke more cigars.

Great hair dad.

The contact sheet of pictures is from a shoot that Mark Susnow did with Annie Libowitz (Leibovitz), that was featured in the rolling stone. 



 *This is not a joke.

Dear Diary,

Dear Diary,

I had a crazy-ass dream the other night, it went something like this:

I gave birth to premature twins, and I was so nervous for their lives that my partner and I moved to a lake where we could keep them safe. One day I was breast-feeding them and then..poof! They turned into dragonflies and flew away. We didn't know what to do, but then a man told us not to worry that we could always wait and catch new dragonflies, nurture them and they would turn into our children. So I decided to wait, and then next thing you know I am working at Old Navy in Novato.

The end.

My mom analyzed it and told me it represents transformation and change. It is a new beginning, and I am safe. Then she told me about a dream my sister had had...and you thought mine was crazy. My sister was pregnant with what Obama thought to be his baby, only it wasn't!

Sincerely,

Me

YouTube Challenge - I Gave My Kids a Terrible Present, Thanks Jimmy Kimmel




27 December 2011

Motorcycle Racing

If you didn't know, Monday night is Date Night. So that is what I did, went on a great date with my Dada. It consisted of extremely cheap movie tickets (gotta love having a dad that gets the senior citizen price and pays for your ticket too) and arcade games. That is right, I played motorcycle racer against my dad...
I am happy to say that I won. 

Ya' huurd?!

Hey Girl, Happy Chanukah. With love, Ryan

Ryan Gosling, All eight days and nights.
Created by Amy Schiller.



"Hey Yoga Girl"

Three years ago or so I was seeing this guy (who shall remain nameless), at the time I was 100% Vegan, and teaching Yoga. I was referred to as "Yoga Girl". The guy's good friend just sent me this video, and well it gave me a good laugh to say the least. Last embarrassing confession for this post, I remember one night he confessed to me that he had bragged to his childhood friend that he was seeing 'a Yoga teacher', so the story goes (or so I choose to remember it) that the friend was jealous-still cracks me up to this day.

Dear Diary,

Dear Diary,

I was poked and prodded at all day.
They applied a local anesthetic.
One arm didn't give any blood.
The other had veins that are
"ridiculously deep, [they] need[ed] to switch to a butterfly needle".

The local anesthetic has worn off, and my arms are bruised.
Tuesday, you genuinely suck.

Sincerely,

Me

Hey Girl.

26 December 2011

"It is all about mouse, it's called 'Mouse 2'"




7 Foods Experts Won't Eat

Simply put: avoid these. 

  • All GMO foods.
  • Canned tomatoes.

The resin linings of tin cans contain bisphenol-A, a synthetic estrogen that has been linked to ailments ranging from reproductive problems to heart disease, diabetes, and obesity. Unfortunately, acidity (a prominent characteristic of tomatoes) causes BPA to leach into your food. Studies show that the BPA in most people’s body exceeds the amount that suppresses sperm production or causes chromosomal damage to the eggs of animals. “You can get 50 mcg of BPA per liter out of a tomato can, and that’s a level that is going to impact people, particularly the young,” says vom Saal. “I won’t go near canned tomatoes.”

  • Corn-fed beef.
  • Micro-wave popcorn

Chemicals, including perfluorooctanoic acid (PFOA), in the lining of the bag, are part of a class of compounds that may be linked to infertility in humans, according to a recent study from UCLA. In animal testing, the chemicals cause liver, testicular, and pancreatic cancer. Studies show that microwaving causes the chemicals to vaporize—and migrate into your popcorn. “They stay in your body for years and accumulate there,” says Naidenko, which is why researchers worry that levels in humans could approach the amounts causing cancers in laboratory animals. DuPont and other manufacturers have promised to phase out PFOA by 2015 under a voluntary EPA plan, but millions of bags of popcorn will be sold between now and then.

  • Farmed salmon
  • Milk produced with artificial hormones
  • Conventional Apples

If fall fruits held a “most doused in pesticides contest,” apples would win. Why? They are individually grafted (descended from a single tree) so that each variety maintains its distinctive flavor. As such, apples don’t develop resistance to pests and are sprayed frequently. The industry maintains that these residues are not harmful. But Kastel counters that it’s just common sense to minimize exposure by avoiding the most doused produce, like apples. “Farm workers have higher rates of many cancers,” he says. And increasing numbers of studies are starting to link a higher body burden of pesticides (from all sources) with Parkinson’s disease.

How-To: Remove a Tick

Next to poison oak (which I also have on the SAME leg, and it sucks), tick bites are the worst. My leg has been swollen for some days now, it is painful to even walk and now the itching won't stop. To top the pain, ticks also carry a rather long list of diseases, how exciting. FYI, I have an appointment set for some blood work, since I having a plethora of symptoms - exciting! Slash ticks are nast-aaaay!

Some mistakes I made in the removal of the tick:
  1. Remove the tick ASAP, diseases are transferred after 24 hours after the bite. *I waited until my mom got off of work because I was afraid and couldn't get a good angle since it bit me on the back of my leg.
  2. When removing, use tweezers and pull straight out. *Do not twist clockwise/counterclockwise, it actually increases the chances of detaching the body from the head. 
  3. When removing, get as close to the skin as possible. *Grabbing the body causes the tick to infuse its disease.
  4. Remove immediately! *My mom told me to put on a glob of vaseline and put a band-aide over it...to suffocate the lil' fucker, when in reality that just causes the tick to release its poison. Don't burn either...YEAH!
Tick-borne diseases + symptoms:

Cheater's Guide to Chanukah

25 December 2011

Nokia Shorts Competition 2011

Currently flying around the web is this creative video by James Griffiths, winner of the Nokia Shorts Competition 2011. Griffiths won the $10,000 grand prize and his movie will be showcased at the 2011 Edinburgh Film Festival. Incredibly, this cute movie was all shot on the Nokia N8 mobile phone. Named Splitscreen: A Love Story, it's a unique take on a modern love story. 



I'd Rather Sink Into the Chair

Once upon a time, I had flowers everyday.
Now, mine just wither.

I want to be chased after, even when I say don't.
I want excitement, and good ole' sloppy sex. 
I want to steal lemons at night covered in masks. 
I want morning sex, but not at 6:05AM when you woke up for work.
And I want my only job to be cleaning the god-damned water.

If you wanted to talk: you shouldn't have sunk into your chair. 
But truthfully at the end of the day, that is all I wanted to do.

Instead, I boiled, and let us be real.
Boiling is never good, unless you are thickening a soup.

Cleaning the water was my only job, but now I have to pick them too.

Yoga Breakdancing

Daly City, California: Midwat Village: Public Housing Building Contaminated 
Soil

“Most stay in toxic traps because they fear losing their berth in public housing and ending up living in shelters or on the street while waiting their turn on long lists for the next available unit. Placing public housing residents on the fence-line with toxic industries sends a powerful message that society does not value these people and is willing to sacrifice their health in order to reduce public spending. Not only is this type of decision morally repugnant, it is also shortsighted in that taxpayers ultimately pay for emergency health care services for this population once they fall ill from foreseeable chemical exposures.” (Lerner 2010, p. 217)          

White + Black Doll Social Experiment

Greta Christina - Puritan Pundits Should Chill Out -- Here Are 5 Reasons I'm Happy I've Had Lots of Casual Sex


"Some people go into casual sex for good, healthy reasons, and some people do it for bad, unhealthy reasons, and many people do it for a combination of the two. And some people have good outcomes from it, and some have crummy outcomes, and some have outcomes that are a mixed bag. You know. Just like people go into marriage and committed relationships for good reasons and bad reasons and combinations of the two… with good, and bad, and mixed results."

El Espiritu De La Colmena (The Spirit of The Beehive) - Victor Erice (1973)

6th Night of Chanukah

It is tradition in my family to choose one night of the eight to celebrate Chanukah, more than just lighting candles (as to be fair to Christmas). We normally will choose the Friday, as to coincide with the Sabbath and do a big dreidel night with friends and lot of latkes and kugel. This year my sister and I decided to do our own dinner and dreidel with our friends, which turned out to be a big success. She got ridiculously drunk and well it was simply hilarious...she is the type of drunk that gets super touchy and cuddly. At the end of the night, when the dreidel game had ended (we set a timer), and before anyone had the chance to count and determine the winner, she takes all of her money that she played (each person put in five dollars to bet with) and tossed it into the middle of the table. Giggling the whole time, announcing the winner: "Everyone is a winner ;)"

19 December 2011

Llullaillaco Maiden


Llullaillaco Maiden — A 15 year old girl sacrificed during the Inca Empire for both purposes of religious rite and social control. She was chosen a year prior to her death, fed a ritualistic diet for an approximate twelve months to make her gain weight, then was drugged and left on the shrine at Volcano Llullaillaco, where she was left to die of exposure. For five hundred years, her body had been preserved at 82 ft. She is considered to be the best preserved Andean mummy ever uncovered. 




Expect More, Pay Less - At Target!

That is right my friends, the grand-pappies #occupy(*i*ed) Target,
Flash Mob style with an original to "I gave you my heart".

Slavoj Žižek

From an interview with Señor Žižek:


What does love feel like?
Like a great misfortune, a monstrous parasite, a permanent state of emergency that ruins all small pleasures.


What is the worst job you've done?
Teaching. I hate students, they are (as all people) mostly stupid and boring.


How often do you have sex?
It depends what one means by sex. If it's the usual masturbation with a living partner, I try not to have it at all.








Slavoj Žižek, Slovenian philosopher, author, researcher, theorist who embraces the black cloud of depression when  he thinks of most of humanity. 

18 December 2011

Good Stuff

It’s not democracy, it’s Digiorno.
#ohcongress
Jon Stewart, on Congress’ recent decision to declare frozen pizza a vegetable in public school cafeterias (via natteringnabobs)

((99))

99 Portraits’ Series Creates Occupy Wall Street’s Lasting Legacy. Photographer Steven Greaves wheat-pasted 99 portraits of the 99 percent all over NY City.





Claude Delucia

"To lend support."



















Zachary Welch
"I am here for the majority of reasons all trailed back to a direct democracy. People need to be in control and stop letting big corporations make decisions. We are legion. We do not forgive, we do not forget. We are here."

16 December 2011

Toto Postes (Honduran Style)


Toto Postes are the equivalent to our biscotti's, they are these hard corn cookies. Dip them in some coffee, and they are the most delicious ever! 

The tradition goes: you have your merienda (snack), which consists of a cup of coffee, a toto poste, and a spoon. You drop the cookie in, and when you finish drinking, eat it up with the spoon.


5lb de maiz
1 lb. de quajada
2 containers de margarina
2 lb. de azucar
2 sodas
½ de mantequilla
sal pisca
½ lb. de manteca
2 huevos
Pictured above is the President of Grupo de Mujeres of San Fernando, Yamaranguila. The women's group functions such that each member rotates taking on the various roles within the community so they all gain the experience.  They meet once a week, as a minimum and bake various treats to sell throughout the community. This week, when I photographed they were making hundreds of toto postes!


Mix up all the ingredients and then shape into rounds, pinching each end to form a circle. Once you have them all set, pop them in the oven and bake until they are nice and browned. 


The corn will turn from a light golden cream color to browned and dandelion yellow. Unfortunately, since they used a wood fire adobe style outside oven, I can't say how hot or for how long you should bake..so best of luck!

Do You Want Eggs with that Bacon?

Yoda came to Marin!

I have on-loan the cutest dog ever, Yoda! The only issue is that he also yaps. I try to pretend that his loving nature makes up for his nasty yap. When my dad saw him, Yoda went up and nestled against his leg, and I make a rather audible note about how loving he is:

"See (Dad), isn't he a lovebug?!" 
"Savo, most dogs are..."



Sha-sha-bang: Movie Must-Sees

  1. The Virgen Suicides
  2. A Beautiful Mind
  3. Girl, Interrupted
  4. Lincoln Lawyers

Santa Cruz

A map of Santa Cruz to aide the psychedelic community.

Shit My Students Write

Works cited

JSTOR: An Error Occurred Setting Your User Cookie.” JSTOR: An Error Occurred Setting Your User Cookie. N.p., n.d. Web. 4 Nov. 2011 


Shalom, motherf*ckers

Our house was a constant target for drive-by shootings and mazel tov cocktails.



Making connections

If slavery wasn’t abolished women wouldn’t be able to vote, we wouldn’t have things such as the refrigerator, and women wouldn’t be able to work.

Joy of Parenting

Having a child is not all that bad; they bring like some kind of undesirable happiness to a parent that really cares.

Kardashians, take note.

Divorce rates are going to be lower if you are not getting married.