Being an "Adult"

Ok, it has now been two incidences within the past week where I have been called an "adult". Both of which shocked me, and made me giggle, (1) I was teaching 2nd graders at Bay View Elementary and one of the girls in my group asked me a question about being an "adult"; (2) one of my volunteers from this summer sent me an email requesting that I confirm her work as the "designated adult". 

I'm sorry, I just do not consider myself an adult. In my opinion, being an adult means being serious all the time, going to bed early, preparing food for the whole busy week of work, getting upset when the house is dirty, grocery shopping, paying bills and coming home to cuddle with someone special. Gah-that is me. 

How-To: Remove a Tick

Next to poison oak (which I also have on the SAME leg, and it sucks), tick bites are the worst. My leg has been swollen for some days now, it is painful to even walk and now the itching won't stop. To top the pain, ticks also carry a rather long list of diseases, how exciting. FYI, I have an appointment set for some blood work, since I having a plethora of symptoms - exciting! Slash ticks are nast-aaaay!

Some mistakes I made in the removal of the tick:

1. Remove the tick ASAP, diseases are transferred after 24 hours after the bite. *I waited until my mom got off of work because I was afraid and couldn't get a good angle since it bit me on the back of my leg.
2. When removing, use tweezers and pull straight out. *Do not twist clockwise/counterclockwise, it actually increases the chances of detaching the body from the head. 
3. When removing, get as close to the skin as possible. *Grabbing the body causes the tick to infuse its disease.
4. Remove immediately! *My mom told me to put on a glob of vaseline and put a band-aide over it...to suffocate the lil' fucker, when in reality that just causes the tick to release its poison. Don't burn either...YEAH!

Tick-borne diseases + symptoms:

Rick Perry

A New Adventure

And so it goes sometimes, one day it's great, and the next, well it's not.
The next chapter begins, and I for one am (dare I say) excited?

Certainly I could be naive to think that I haven't become extremely co-dependent, but at least I can go into the new year with just that, independence. Truthfully, if I were to admit it to myself, I fear that I will simply become more cold-hearted.  My way of warming up to new people like a snail simply won't work this time, and I don't really want to invest in yet another relationship.

I am set on my ways, and now that a month short of a year goes by, I am kinda not feeling the hook-ups with the cute guys at the party nor wanting to actually put in any effort. I just want the guy that holds me tight, that doesn't care if I shaved my legs that day, and can have a good time staying in or going out on a crazy adventure.

I say good-bye to what was love, but I know it was right. It just sucks now that I'm still here in Santa Cruz twiddling my thumbs, and no sex.

starting to think some about the future, should I be a:
private jewish school teacher or a private hippie school teacher?

The Future

I want to grow up, so I can go thrift-ing for hidden treasures.
I want to grow up, so I can put nails in my walls.
I want to grow up, so I can go on road trips on a whim,
Like picking a dress on a sunny day.
I want to grow up, so I can decorate my house,
Painting each wall a different color.
I want to grow up, so I can open a cafe with my Toots.
I want to grow up, so I can have a set schedule where when I leave work,
I actually leave work.

I want to grow up, so I can finally relax and stop studying..

The irony is that I can actually do all of these things now, a friend made a comment that I am in an "adult couple", because we didn't go out after dinner; I was upset.

Instead, of taking it for what it is,
I insisted on watching cartoons on a Sunday morning.

I want to grow up, or am I afraid to..?

Tetanus.

      It is amazing how fast you can freak out. I went on a run with one of my vols. this past Friday, and well...I fell on a fence. I didn't think much of it as I was running in the swamp of a field, through barbed wire fences, past cows and jumping across rivers..but when I got back to the house-covered in filth, it was certain my leg was bleeding quite profusely.

      Luckily, in my case the fence that scraped me up only got me in five separate locations, and also lucky enough, that same fence is only rusty as fuck.

    With that, I thought back to my shots..I have had three in my lifetime. Yeah, so it probs. leaves tetanus out of the possible ones...So I called my Mommy, and she looked up my shots..and I got a tetanus shot in 2006! Thank goodness, because it is already bruising in a five inch radius, also one of the symptoms, woot woot!

The Things I Do For You-

Carrying large sums of money is scary as shit. Every week on Route, I bring with me a bit too much, and as I walk the few hours to each community, get on another bus and hitch another jalón, I am always worried that not only the money will disappear, but so will I. Apparently, in the La Paz region (where there is another AMIGOS project) there have been a crazy increase in kidnappings, might I add specifically on the highways to other countries. I think this would be the appropriate time to note where one of my communities is…on the carretera to El Salvador! Note this is a fantastic community, love it, I really do..but it is also the same community that I grab a bus that is going to the border to get there, and simply get off a bit before. Oh, and did I mention that there was also a bus that blew-up on this same highway (but on the El Salvador side) last week. It killed 12 Hondureños, 1 Canadian, and 2 Estadounidense! Hopefully this won’t be me..but one of the host mom’s Blanca (one of my favorites) called me just to make sure that I had not blown up too, and that I would still be coming that Wednesday because she wanted to make me tamales..)

To come back to the subject matter, exchanging money..I hate doing it, if carrying around all that skrill wasn’t enough, I also have to carry my passport..and let’s face it losing your passport sucks-straight up, not down. Thus, I try to exchange money as little as possible and the story begins:

I was exchanging money at Banco Occidental, and I waited and waited outside the bank inline for so long to find out that they weren’t actually waiting for the bank..that was fun. So I go inside soon after and I go up to a window where this nice man helps me. He asks for my identification, and I squirm in panic..and then I find my passport at the bottom of my bag. He asks for the money, and then he converts it to Lemp. oh the glorious Lemp. full of plastic holes in the twenty bills and god forbid you try to break a hundred L. bill..back to the story, he counted it about eleven times to make sure it was the correct amount. Asked me a few questions, what I was doing here, for how long, where am I leaving..I am sweating a few buckets with each. I don’t know what it is with authority, they scare me shitless. But the Bank people know how to keep it hush hush when dealing with these large sums..I think I should take note of them. All they do is whisper and mumble, moving their fingers so fast that not even my eyes can follow along. One request, speak up? I know you are super skilled and can stay hush hush, but I can barely hear you!

Right, slash these are two of my lovely vols. that I carry money around for..meet Nick and Stefan. 

Far From Daisies.

Being disconnected to the world means not having to face reality.

Frankly it is quite nice, and I wish that I could have resisted the dying temptation to communicate with those that hold any single sentiment.

What you hear does not pertain to any yellow Daisies.

Ironically, you wish that you had never spoken to them, you wish that you had never thought about the yellow Daisies shining in the sun’s rays.

This utopian idea quickly flitters off in the distance, as the harsh veracity of life sinks in. Deeper than the flowers’ roots that shallowly grip the soil, harder than the tap of the key from which builds characters making the god forsaken sentence, the count of all accountability.

You are my Dark and Twisted, yet if I am the other, don’t let me be the only.

I am lands away, and even my tears don’t make a moat long enough to sail my way back.

But alas, the feeling resides inside my body as if mites that only want to further make there mark. The permetherin doesn’t make a difference, it doesn’t stop the box full of buttons, the bearer of bad news from transmitting themselves to me: of which they are not shared with anybody else. These buttons have no answers, yet they are the only superficial emotion that I get with such a distance.

Now as I sit here, copying my insides onto paper under a candlelight that flickers with each fly, their surrounding nuance only brings to the forefront another actuality. I cannot hold you, and I cannot tell you it will be alright.

The moat stands a few miles long as of now, but faults far too many to make it to the San Andreas line. The mark of the Chosen One, the mark that says you are here because of love, this love that is more powerful than anything else known.

The tornado doesn’t stop, patroficos totalis.

If you get the chance, if you choose to connect yourself, you soon will find that the tornado does not die down. The wind will blow you to the next day, with destruction always damaging the little yellow Daisy.

If you ever thought that you could be a true friend from a far distance- 

Realize that your drops of tears may keep falling, 

All of which doesn't make the slightest difference when they can’t even see your face.

Stressed.

I do not know what to do. I leave in now less than ten days.

And guess what, AMIGOS just changed my flight to the day prior!
Woot, do you know what this means?

Me neither, I do not know how I am going to do this.
To do:

1. Pack for Honduras
2. Laundry and Amigos appropriate clothing
3. Pain the house and stucco the holes that we made.
4. Clean, clean, clean.
5. Have quality time with those I care about, unlikely : (
6. Prep for my research this summer
7. PRINT MATERIALS
8. Put everything into storage!!
9. Eat my food that I still have..in the fridge.
10. Find a storage unit.
11. End of quarter evals. for Steering
12. Find a replacement
13. Start and finish my finals.
14. Go camping with my boo
15. Get anti-malarials!
16. Get a field journal for the summer
17. Get the last things from home
18. Not be stressed?

If I could, I would go back and prevent this from happening,
If I could, I would prevent the poisoning-
I'd event take away cadmium, uranium,
And all the other 'ium's from the Period Table of Elements

While I'm at it, I will make laws that will diable you from being cheated-
That will acknowledge your rights,

Well, while I'm at it,
I will make the world a place where something like this would never happen,
Where laws aren't even needed-
Where toxic chemicals weren't handled as if you were sifting flour;
    For you see with flour you have to be careful, but if a lil' bit spills-it's just flour.

In the dearest of apologies, I apologize for what laws were not made,
I apologize that you had to live next to the plant,
That you inhaled toxins since you took your first breath,
That you lost three babies, due to miscarriages,

Too bad my apologies make no difference.

*Inspired by "The Silicon Valley of Dreams" - Environmental [In]justice tear-jerker

A Dead Mouse.

I get a call from Tash this morning asking that I close the garage for her and give some water to Yoda (our new friend-her dog from home).  Meanwhile, I was working away (blogging) in my room. I walk outside to the hallway to quickly close the garage, and as I walk further down-I see an even newer friend.

A dead mouse!

If you did not know already, I am ridiculously afraid of mice, rats, any rodents really. I scream, I shout, and I run back into my room.  Ironically, I am the only one home. I call Tash back and tell her to come straight back home, get upset that she left me alone, and now there is a dead mouse, etc. She calms me down, and waits while I put on a pair of big boots, and attempt to head to the kitchen to grab a bowl to cover it.

I couldn't even do this! I start crying, and completely break-down. I try to calm myself down and do it again. Fail. So I call my Prince-in-Shining-Armour, thank goodness he is home. He comes over and takes care of the situation, wipes away my tears and makes me feel all better.
  
Yoda you are the best, get another one!
But, you wanna do this when I am NOT home?

I got scared by a caterpillar today.
Seriously?

Rats.

Plain and simple, they give me the jeepers-creepers.
Now, they are co-inhabiting all of my homes.
Yay.